Addiction is a disease, just like diabetes. The best way for me to understand it, is to liken addiction to an allergy. Some people can take pain pills and enjoy alcohol with no consequence. Addicts are allergic to it. Their body and mind react totally different to drugs and alcohol, making it impossible to make good choices. When they are using, their mind just wants the drug at any cost.
The hardest part of our journey was knowing how to help. Everyone told me to kick him out and let him hit rock bottom. Just what would you do to save the life of your child? I was not willing to kick him out and let his friends take charge. I was recently asked "Would you rather him die on the streets or die at home?" For me, I would rather him be at home. My wonderful husband has been with me every step of the way, but it was a bigger problem than what we could handle.
I did a lot of research before choosing his programs. I wanted to post about our journey, to help other families make their choice.
Step's Recover Program - Payson, Utah - $8,000 month
This was the first in-patient drug program we tried. It's was a new program that was 1/2 the cost of other programs we looked into. The center was new, clean and had a great feeling to it. They had daily workouts, activities and went to AA meetings. We committed to a 30 day program. At that point I was willing to commit to a week, if our son was willing to go!
Harold and I went to all the family group sessions, but our family was never involved. They had a few patients that were "Drama Queens" that took up all the staffs attention. J complained that his meds were disappearing from the medical office. Later we learned that someone on the staff was helping himself to J's medication. The family part of the program was very weak. The classes were not very informative. The instructors didn't teach very well. On day 30, at the family meeting, the staff realized that it was J's last day and tried to direct some attention his way. It was little help...very late in the game. We took him home that night.
Dayspring Out Patient, Utah - $4500 month for 3 months. Insurance paid 1/2.
This was our first out-patient experience. I can't say enough positive things about Dave and the Dayspring program for the families. Dave was professional, informative, caring, direct and we learned so much about addiction from this program. Unfortunately, our son was not ready to make any changes.
Jaywalker Lodge - Carbondale, CO- $34,000 for 3 months + weekly expenses, medical expenses, ski passes and gear.
I searched and searched for this program. It looked perfect! Nestled in the mountains of Colorado, away from friends in Utah. The center focused on Step 1 and outdoor activities to replace the drug cravings.
There were so many positive things about the program. Moab hiking, biking trips, fly fishing, snow boarding, AA meetings, to name a few.
The Jaywalker program was very flexible. The guys are able to leave the center, with a buddy. Many of the guys kept there cell phones hidden, which enabled them to stay in contact with their friends at home. Our son was on Facebook all the time, chatting away with his friends. He loved the Jaywalker program, but his attention was focused on his past friends.
We finally decided to go to Colorado to visit him. We stayed the weekend in Aspen. When it was time to take him back, his counselor called and notified us that Jason was kicked out. They had a zero tolerance policy. One of the alumni had brought in a non narcotic drug, purchased at a smoke shop nearby, and a handful of kids were being kicked out that day. Imagine that...a drug addict being offered a non narcotic drug and using. Back to Salt Lake we went.
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| The Retreat |
The Retreat - Minnesota $3500 for 30 days
The Jaywalker Lodge referred us to this program. The Retreat is a non-profit program in Wayzata, Minnesota. It took one phone call to realize this is the program we needed at the time. This program restored our sanity. I never understood the AA or the 12 step program. Being in the heart of St. Paul, where the AA program started, we had our eyes open to what the program is all about. Funny, AA is free.
It's so wonderful to have my son back. I enjoy our conversations and love hearing about his recovery. I was exposed to the charity behind Al-alon and AA. Intelligent, educated people sharing their success and happiness. They embraced our son and welcomed him in the sober community. He decided to stay in St. Paul another 6 months and go into a sober living community.
What I know...
Recovery Centers are big business. Families will pay anything, to get the help their family members need. At this point of my journey, I realize that our son won't change unless he's ready. Centers all claim to have the highest success rate, they all gladly take your money. I've spent a lot of time researching and looking for direction.
I always was apposed to Al-anon. I didn't understand that it is a group of people giving back and helping other families going through the same journey. I'm excited to share my experience and embrace families who are going through addiction.
What I know:
Addiction is a disease.
The hospitals will give you all the drugs you need and take your money.
The centers will take all your money and give you peace of mind for a few months.
I am powerless over J's addiction. No matter what I do, he will change when he's ready.
I don't need to solve everyones problems. I don't need to plan or worry about J's future. I don't need to tackle the world. It's in God's hands.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Karen
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